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Gutsy Liberal (GNW 14/9/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Liberal Senator Judith Troeth caused more dissent amongst the Coalition by crossing the floor to vote to abolish charging asylum seekers for their own detention. She’s been shunned in the Liberal party room, where she’s being forced to stay in the “barbed section”.

Liberal Senator Judith Troeth crossed the floor to show her support for innocent refugees and asylum seekers locked up in our detention centres. And she was never seen again. / And that’s the last anyone’s seen of her.

Not only should innocent detainees not be charged for their incarceration, but maybe shouldn’t even be locked up. You know, being innocent and all.

The Liberal overlords are fuming. They thought anyone who joined the party had already lost whatever shreds of humanity they might’ve once had.

She crossed the floor. If only refugees and asylum seekers were given enough room to be able to do the same.

It was a gutsy move. Sure, she’s retiring at the next election, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have her head beaten in as a warning to others.

Just more proof that in the Liberal party room, asylum seekers found their asylum. / At least the refugees finally found asylum – the Liberal party.

The only time Liberal senators can show any heart is when they’re just about to retire. Otherwise, the damn thing really gets in the way of the party philosophy.

Looks like the Liberals just can’t handle the Troeth…

The Liberals have a simple solution to discipline Troeth. Christmas Island.

Troeth gave an impassioned speech on behalf of detainees. Senior Liberals are wondering why she couldn’t just sew up her lips.

But why NOT charge our detainees for their own incarceration? I mean, if it was good enough for the Nazis, it’s good enough for us.

She doesn’t believe that innocent detainees should be charged for their food and shelter. They should just not be given any.

The detainees will still have to pay a small charge for shipping and handling.

So now we, the taxpayers, have to foot the bill for detaining refugees. If we’d realised that, we’d never have voted for locking them up behind barbed wire in the first place! / It’s almost enough to make me regret our barbarous inhumanity.

And accommodation for detainees hasn’t been cheap. Sure, there’s no room service, mini-bar or in-room movies, but those barbs don’t sharpen themselves.

Turns out she wasn’t crossing the floor at all. She was just going back for some of that divine salmon-roe caviar. (It’s so moreish!)

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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